Old bass joke to make you groan:
A friend of a friend of a friend of mine told me this little tale of one of our local symphony orchestras doing a rendition of Beethoven’s 9th symphony. There is a passage in this piece where the bass section has a fairly long break. Long enough, in fact, that the double bass players stocked up the green room with libations and when this break came, they would skip down to the green room for a little sheep dip. Well, as the rehearsals went on, they started cutting their return close enough that even they started to get a little nervous. So, they got a hold of the conductor’s sheet music, punched a hole in the bottom corner and tied the pages together to buy themselves a few extra seconds. So, come performance night, you could just feel the tension. There, at the bottom of the 9th, the score is tied, and the basses are loaded.