I encountered my first Apple product in high school. I had come across a set of Apple IIs and remember trying out programs that taught typing, biology, and a few other areas of the school curriculum. I remember my grandmother going on about Steve Jobs for some reason – I think it was about a stock transaction and some press happening at the time. She seemed to try and point him out to me whenever she could; I suppose to exert some positive influence on me. He certainly dressed better than I: he wore bow ties and all I had on was a Grateful Dead t-shirt and a pair of worn-out jeans.

I had a series of Atari machines at home, and was even writing BASIC programs myself to handle my daily concerns – a personal phone book, a thing to program in bass lines and then set a tempo to whatever jazz tune I was trying to learn to improvise with, and a few other little experiments.

I remember coming across Atari and Commodore machines long before I first saw an Apple computer. But when I saw the Apple and worked with it a bit, I realized where the inspiration for those Atari and Commodore machines came from.

Then my teacher showed me his new Macintosh. He got only one for the school that year. It was amazing. It looked and worked like nothing any of us had seen before – fonts, graphics, the mouse, everything polished.

It had a modem. I had never heard of a modem. It connected to Bank of America. And some message boards. CompuServe, if I recall correctly.

Dark Castle. My cousin and I played Dark Castle until we dropped. When I worked the computer lab at NEC, we had Spaceward Ho LAN parties. I know what you’re thinking – whee that is the slowest game on earth. Hey this was 1991 on an AppleTalk network with a bunch of music majors…

At NEC I encountered Finale which did music engraving and arranging. I built myself a tidy little side business helping other students typeset their music theory and composition work, not to mention all the word processing, concert flyers, and copyediting I did. Having computer skills came in quite handy back then. It was Finale that taught me about typography and page layout, in that interesting and roundabout way that music engraving can only provide. It was working in Finale that led to my interest in computer-based graphic design, and ultimately in web development.

When I started weaning myself away from my music career, I took various daytime temp office gigs. I wound up commuting in to San Francisco from the opposite coast on a long BART ride every morning. I wound up on the road quite a bit as a computer systems trainer. I wanted something to do with all that down time commuting and traveling, and so I bought my first PowerBook, a 1400cs.

I taught myself a massive amount of graphic design and web development on that machine. (In-between a little WarCraft here and there, I’ll admit.) I always had a programming book with me on the train or in the airport, and I’d spend my time learning new skills. I haven’t stopped. I still do this today – study a new technology every chance I get, on my MacBook or maybe more recently in conjunction with an e-book on my iPad.

I have always loved to develop for these machines, and for the web, and now for all these little handheld devices that have way more power than those original Ataris and Apple IIs. And I love to spread that enthusiasm to others. How to build awesome websites. How to develop with joy. I love teaching, presenting ideas, getting others excited about it all.

Steve Jobs was the ultimate presenter. I would always look to him for inspiration on how to deliver an idea. He was also the ultimate visionary – I would always look to him to try and think ahead. Not so much to think what he was thinking, but to think in a similar methodology that would help me get to where I needed to go. He also had a passion for detail that I looked up to constantly.

Most importantly, underneath all that corporate and marketing glitz, underneath all the crazy stories and keynotes, there was a regular human being. A human being that had warm, humble, personal, and profound ideas, words of wisdom. Just another person trying to figure out what to do with his life. Basically, this person:

I saw Steve Jobs speak many times and studied his presentation style for my own stage technique. But in that speech above, everything hits home like a spike in the railroad tracks of my life. Everything. Every word of it. But mostly this:

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn’t even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor’s code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you’d have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I’m fine now.

This was the closest I’ve been to facing death, and I hope it’s the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

My emphasis added from the transcript. I’m sorry to point out the gloomy part, especially on a day like this. But that is the part that, when I first read it in transcript, made me remember what all this is all about. I can remember talking with my grandmother, bedridden for years before she passed away, and thinking to myself – reminding myself constantly – that I had to do something with myself, and something great. Or to at least die trying. It’s the meaning behind that part that has fueled all of my passion in what I do today. It is exactly why I push forward, no matter what. It’s the knowledge that I am mortal, and that there are generations that will follow me that will be influenced upon the things I do and say. I want that to be positive influence, as much as I can muster in my flawed and tragic human way, in what little time I have on this Earth.

And in a way, this isn’t gloomy after all; this is just life moving forward. I am sad today for losing a great inspiration, and I am sad for all the people far closer to him than I that are truly at a loss. But as for the notion of our own mortality, I am hopeful for the future. I am hopeful that future generations will be better off, will have learned from our experiences, and will continue to improve us all and move us forward. I am grateful for having been influenced, in a positive way, and I hope to continue to pay it all forward.

But still, right now, I just feel sad.

If you’d like an idea of what I had to put up with every Friday in college:

This is the most important moment right now, which is: We – are about contribution. That’s what our job is. It’s not about impressing people. It’s not about getting the next job. It’s about contributing something. Everyone was clear that you contributed passion to the people in this room, right? Did you do it better than the next violinist? Or did he do it better than another pianist? I don’t know; I don’t care! Because in contribution, there is no better. And that’s all. And what happens is the faces light up.

And that is all…

Today I came across this article from Peter Bregman on the HarvardBusiness.org site, titled: The Easiest Way to Change People’s Behavior. It’s an excellent read and highly recommended.

What Peter discusses in this article is that one of the most important motivational factors in our lives is environment. If you put the right things in front of you, you’ll tend to use them more. Move them away, and they’ll get used less.

This goes for good things as well as bad things. On the positive side, consider proximity of the things that are beneficial: The gym is only a block away, so you go regularly. If the gym is far, you don’t go. Some examples based on the article:

• Use a bigger spoon or plate, and you eat more. Use smaller ones and you eat less.
• Live near a liquor store or a Burger King and people tend to drink more and eat more junk food. Place yourselves farther away from those and you tend not to indulge in such sins.
• For musicians, keep your instrument and music in an area where you’ll most likely use it. Designate a practice area and have your instrument either out of it’s case or put the case in an easily accessible area. Music on the stand. Metronome on the desk. Ready to go. (I personally have found having a tuner (iStrobeSoft) and metronome (Dr Betotte TC) on my iPhone to be one of the biggest music practice productivity boosts yet. No searching for gadgets…)
• Want kids to do their homework? Give them a clean, organized place to do it and make sure the homework is there and not floating around the house in some random place. (I know this from experience…)

In a Web 2.0 context, this equates to the usability of your software. Make it easy for your users to get things done, and they’ll do it without a hitch. Throw up roadblocks, and they’ll get stuck. It doesn’t matter how small the roadblock is or whether or not the construct was well intentioned or not – if it impedes usability, then it will impede usability.

In a greater sense, there’s a lesson for the nation or the world: If you want people to change the way they are doing things, make them want to do it. Make it easy for them. Remove any and all barriers to getting things done. You want people to vote? Put voting booths in more neighborhoods or promote the option to vote by mail. Need people to get immunized? Set up neighborhood clinics. Want your employees to be more productive? Find out what is it about your office environment that is getting in the way or not helping promote the results you want to see. For kids, for employees, for citizens, provide the right environment and make it a place they want to be.

I am sure that a moment like this:

was part of the inspiration that led to this:

Finding the right mentor is more important than anything else. This quote struck me as a perfect example of the mentor-disciple relationship:

Confronted with a sudden, near-lethal dose of humility, my mind hatched an insane plan. Acting with cleverness and boldness unmatched before or since, I started looking for Wil Shipley. When I finally found him, I blurted out: ���I want to work for you, with no pay, for one year.��� When I got back to Seattle, I sold my condo, gave away most of my things, and moved into Wil’s basement.

For certain disciplines, teacher is everything. Sure you can learn programming and do it well on your own with a solid curriculum of books, dedication, and a few classes. But having an iconic mentor to guide you through and provide answers to your most vexing questions on demand is a huge boost. The same goes for music study: You can go far with private lessons and lots of practice, but having the right teacher makes a big difference when you look at the statistics. Jason Heath states:

Music performance degrees are completely superfluous to your pursuit of a music performance career.

Check out his post on this for the numbers. It is an interesting statistical analysis – the four double bass teachers clearly show a strong track record for who gets hired in modern orchestra bass sections.

I say if you want to do something with your life and are willing to make a life-changing and risky change in your life to pursue that goal, then stop being such a chicken and go for it.

Jason Heath recently noted some book recommendations for musicians from Chicago bassist Greg Sarchet. I have a few of my own that I’d like to add to the mix!

• Zander, Rosamund, and Benjamin Zander. The Art of Possibility
  –I complained loudly when I was in Ben’s orchestra rehearsals, and thought he was a nut in class. To this day he is one of the most influential figures in my life. This is a must-read.
• Green, Barry, and W. Gallwey. Inner Game of Music
  –We can’t forget Barry Green’s book!
• Hofstadter, Douglas. G√∂del, Escher, Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid
  –Because you are an effing geek. Seriously, this book is a key component for my theories on the correlations between music and science.

I’ve been hit with a meme. I usually ignore these. It’s like getting hit with a tax bill. Or a subpoena. But for a couple of reasons I’m following up on this one. First of all, it came about because of very special circumstances that are close to me – a person whom I have never (probably) met, but who crossed paths with me when I was very young. Second, because I have a raging case of ennui (I feel so Henry Miller) this afternoon and need something to move me forward. Lastly, this reminds me that I need to stay a bit more up to date my primary node contacts in the blogosphere.

The rules for this meme are:

1. Let others know who tagged you.
2. Players start with 8 random facts about themselves.
3. Those who are tagged should post these rules and their 8 random facts.
4. Players should tag 8 other people and notify them they have been tagged.

Eight random facts. About me? Hmmmm… OK, I think in the spirit of this exercise, I am going to avoid talking about anything obvious such as “I play the bass” or “I speak a little Mandarin.” I’ll have to think about this one. Here goes:

1. I almost always wear black. I’m not a goth or some depressing artiste or something. That’s just my innate preference. I don’t know why – someone who I had not seen in over 20 years pointed this out to me last October at an event at my old high school Athenian last October by saying “I remember you used to always wear black.” I was in fact wearing a black shirt under a gray suit with a long black overcoat. What can I say? I’m a winter, not a summer…
2. Cloudy, misty, foggy, cool weather is my favorite climate. I’m not big on hot or even warm weather. Again, this has nothing to do with the wearing black thing.
3. My Myers-Briggs personality type is ENTP. This is generally classified as extremely creative, scholarly, verbose, and really terrible at follow-through. Nothing could be more true on that last point at least…
4. I began playing the double bass at the age of nine and started guitar around twelve. I planned to major in both until it was recommended that I narrow it down to one for NEC – where I settled on the double bass. To this day I still practice both. This may very well be related to my ENTP-ness as mentioned previously.
5. I am writing out a blog post for this meme, when I should be finishing up my homework!
6. I think I may have had celiac-like symptoms as early as at age 25. I was finally diagnosed two years ago, at 37. After going gluten-free, I can truly say that I haven’t felt this healthy since my early 20′s.
7. I have had a strong feeling for the past couple of years that civility has been mostly lost from society. I was particularly pleased to see that the person who memed (is that a verb now?) me had also recently blogged on this very same subject.
8. For some odd reason, I am fascinated with remote human habitation in extreme climates or remote locations. Some that have caught my attention include Svalbard, Tristan da Cunha, and space habitats.

OK now to assign some pumpkins:

1. Michael
2. Matt
3. Jason A.
4. Jason H.
5. Steph
6. Brandon
7. Seamaiden
8. Ellen

There you go – my one and only, and probably final contribution to blogmemedom. I think I have less ennui now, because I have this pressing urge to finish my homework.

Well, so far this year has been tough at best, so it is time to look forward.

As I sit here suffering a thankfully rare but severe reaction to gluten that will undoubtedly keep me awake the rest of this evening, I am contemplating what things I need to do to get life looking up again:

• First of all, I think the basics are covered. I’m getting excellent grades in my masters program, and I’m exercising regularly. We bought a recumbent exercise cycle and I found that a laptop perched on my nice wooden music stand allows us to use the computer while we pedal. Watching DVDs, doing homework, reading papers, surfing the web, or listening to podcasts all make it very productive time, which was the main reason why I wasn’t exercising before. I have found the auto-scroll feature in Acrobat Reader to be particularly handy for reading while exercising. But I certainly could be eating a bit more healthy – less chips and beer, more fruit and wild rice.
• I decided finally that, given my career as a web geek, playing ensemble with my double bass just isn’t going to happen anymore. I don’t have time. I will never have time. I might have time for a few people to come over and jam on Dvorak and Schubert, but the reality is that I know very few good string players out here in the burbs. However, what I do have time for is practice – late nights, weekends, whenever I can get a few minutes. The whole reason I got into the double bass in the first place was to play solo music, so it’s time to get back to my roots and string that thing up with some solo gauge Thomastiks. Heck, this is how Yingwen and I hooked up in the first place: She was a pianist that played the double bass; I was a bassist in need of a good and willing accompanist; one late night rehearsal after another and…
• I will never apologize for not blogging, but I do intend to write more. And by the way, I am sick of being hosted on a non-PHP5 server. Looking for new digs for this site. And I really should start learning Ruby.
• “But what about Ajax?” I can hear some of you saying… Well it is true that every single damn job posting out there these days asks for someone who is god of Ajax and all things server-side. Great – you know, I read Jeremy Keith’s book on DOM Scripting, played around with some of the frameworks, and for whatever reason I’m still not digging it. There are too many hacks, failovers, workarounds, and the rest of it for me to fall in love with this language. In most cases when I come across a deep and serious problem in my web team with an application, it is because of an over-reliance on Javascript. So I’ve decided to keep it in the utilitarian mode for now until such time as I can further dive down properly into it later this year.
• Finally, the guitar deserves a little attention since that has actually improved dramatically over the past half year or so. I really should firm up my technique and stop slouching that instrument over my right leg all the time.

How does one find the time to practice two instruments, go to school, work full time and have a family? Simple: Give up television.